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High Card Carl's avatar

Your first marriage may be annul-able, many priests would say it is:

1. Affair unrepentant prior to marriage likely means she couldn’t enter into a marriage really. Intent at altar almost definitely not there

2. If not a Catholic marriage, a lot more gray area whether it was actually a sacrament and clear intentions

3. If not a Catholic wedding, then unlikely you had divorce as off the table and so might not be a valid marriage too

I would talk openly with a priest. Definitely some will agree.

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John Gillen's avatar

Don’t know if my advice is worthwhile but I’ve been married to one woman for 52 years. She’s the only one I’ve ever had sex with and we were both virgins on our wedding night. I have lived in a sexless and mostly affection less state for the last 25 years, not my choosing. She has become a none Catholic for the last five years and no longer goes to mass. This is primarily do to an attachment to our daughter. If I were not a Catholic Christian I would have left more than twenty years ago. I still love her but greatly miss the woman that used to be my wife. It is a pleasant roommate arrangement. Jesus said that following his path would not be without trials, some can be difficult but the goal remains the same. Our time here is limited, the other side is forever. I just keep going, praying for a change in the here and now.

I’m not a canon lawyer but your case for both marriages and even your mental state for both seem to indicate that neither were valid. I would keep trying but know that if it’s not to be that you can survive in a celebrate state although the non-affectionate state is actually worse.

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