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Tulliola's avatar

Ray, I am so glad to see you “all in”. It fits with 2 Timothy 1 7 - God did not give us a Spirit of timidity, but of love and power and self discipline. The speaking out means taking the risk of being seen with egg on your face - in faith that God can see you through. Those of us who believe know that it’s not just an intellectual understanding but a transformative power that the Holy Spirit brings.

At the same time, there are plenty of cautions in scripture that temptations will come again. 1 Corinthians 10 12 -

So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall! - is just one that comes to mind. We stand in need of continuing repentance and grace.

It’s interesting to see Yorick’s comparison with a marriage. It made me think that any marriage may have a honeymoon period and then a period where novelty wears off and reality pinches - and the Christian life does call us to sacrifice in a humble way without attention or glamour. But anything that is worthwhile needs persistence through temptation and difficulty. Have you read any C S Lewis? The Screwtape Letters is very good on what to do when fervour undulates!

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Barnabas's avatar

Thank you for sharing your story. I understand people's comments against you. It so happens that today, I was just on Reddit getting criticized (and misunderstood and misrepresented). Someone said at least I'm not alone anymore, now Ray has joined me as a Jesus person. Happy to have you brother.

I have known of you before and watched some of your videos, but was a bit turned off by some of the crossdressing integration (some of the old photos can be triggering to guys too). Still that would not have stopped me from exploring further. Just am very limited in time! Glad to get time now to catch up with some of your content.

As I explained to the guy on Reddit, I can very much understand why some people would have a hard time believing there is actually any way out of AGP. It's easier for them to assume that no one can quit crossdressing and be happy. They have been telling me that since I started my website in 2011. It's scary I think for them to consider other possibilities, that it might actually be true that some people are happier without crossdressing. That makes them more comfortable in continuing the path they are on and making excuses for themselves. I've now been joined by hundreds of other guys, Christians and non-Christians, in our recovery groups. While some guys truly struggle almost daily, lots of other guys are living free and are very happy for it, and are NOT feeling like they are missing out on anything, and their lives are full and joyful and satisfying. They don't feel like they are missing out on anything, and their lives, and my life, are not boring.

What you said about relapses is true. But I try to teach guys that a relapse doesn't mean a failure in quitting. Relapses can come. They have for me too, I've written about them at times. But each relapse should remind the person how free they felt not giving in, and how wonderful life was when not giving in, and let the relapse encourage them to get back up and get back to living in freedom again. A relapse is not a sign that the decision to quit was a bad one. It was simply a lapse in judgment, and a giving in to the flesh, temporarily.

As people judge us and criticize us for our choice to reject indulging of AGP, it's easy to become harsh against them. I was quite harsh when I started my website. I am now much more compassionate, and trying to soften my tone. These guys are lost in their bondage. They need help. Let's keep pointing them to Christ and to freedom.

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