Obviously there is a lot more to this and individual cases are affected by having a more obsessive compulsive behavior patterns, or additions. Finding a way to practice the desired behavior rather than the stuck groove on the record behavior seems to be the essential change.
You mention the three routes for managing AGP desires are repression/integration/transition.
I haven't heard this spelled out so concisely before, do you have any resources on the topic? You're the only person I hear who uses the word 'integration'.
Very insightful essay, thank you. I’ve listened to a couple podcast interviews you have done so recognize that this is a long process. It has been very helpful to recognize a couple people I’ve met as having AGP tendencies.
If you don’t mind me commenting on integration vs repression — to paraphrase Drew from “The Anxious Truth” podcast — repression doesn’t work because our brains don’t “erase”. We connect neural pathways through repetition of behaviors. It takes about 4-6 weeks to create a new neural pathway that sticks. Think about practicing a new instrument or learning a new song. Same with sports or exercise.
Integration is practicing new behaviors with intention and repetition. Recognizing and allowing that previous behaviors ended up with results that weren’t as expected or were harmful. Knowing that returning to the behavior will change the mind. The action being more important than intention or inspiration maybe.
Definitely, Ray has been one talking about this. I don't recall the site, but I read an article about anima integration and it was saying similar things to what Ray is saying. But the difference was that the article put AGP (they didn't say AGP per say and more like crossdressing) in the light of a 'phase' that AGP men have to get through.
I believe they did mention integration too, as in finding ways to be that don't call for crossdressing. And they went on to mentioned that some men get 'stuck' in that crossdressing 'phase'.
Where as, I see Ray's explanation of integration with AGP making way more sense.
The article was a Jugian type of psychology article about crossdressing and I will post it once I find it.
Yes, I would be interested in that Jungian essay. I love Jungian psychology and think his concept of integration of anima and individuation and Robert Moore’s theory of the mature masculine archetypes is very valuable to helping AGPs.
Advice about integration is a long-standing thing among heterosexual male crossdressers. Tri-ESS (the Society for the Second Self) includes integration as part of its philosophy:
"The Tri-Ess philosophy can be expressed in the acronym FIBER:
F - Full personality expression in both its masculine and its feminine aspects. We do not wish to destroy our masculinity, but to soften its harsher aspects, and be all we can be.
I - Integration of masculinity and femininity to create a happier whole person.
B - Balance between masculinity and femininity.
E - Education of crossdressers and their families to foster self-acceptance; education of society to promote acceptance of crossdressing people.
R - Relationship-building in the context of crossdressing."
Good luck with E now that crossdressing is a source of rights claims. As an older woman, I've seen people's toleration for it decline, not increase. Because crossdressing is now confused with transition legally many are now more like to be hostile.
Is it also possible that there is a kind of, since it is not forbidden than I don’t want it, scenario going on in your new relationship. But never the less a very good post
Obviously there is a lot more to this and individual cases are affected by having a more obsessive compulsive behavior patterns, or additions. Finding a way to practice the desired behavior rather than the stuck groove on the record behavior seems to be the essential change.
This is an especially interesting podcast related. I always hear people talk about how kinks and fetishes are “innate” . Rats with Jackets beg to differ. https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/podcast/episode-56-where-do-sexual-fetishes-come-from/
Thanks for posting this!
I really ejoyed this, Ray.
You mention the three routes for managing AGP desires are repression/integration/transition.
I haven't heard this spelled out so concisely before, do you have any resources on the topic? You're the only person I hear who uses the word 'integration'.
I don’t have any resources on integration; I first heard that terminology on the r/AskAGP subreddit
Very insightful essay, thank you. I’ve listened to a couple podcast interviews you have done so recognize that this is a long process. It has been very helpful to recognize a couple people I’ve met as having AGP tendencies.
If you don’t mind me commenting on integration vs repression — to paraphrase Drew from “The Anxious Truth” podcast — repression doesn’t work because our brains don’t “erase”. We connect neural pathways through repetition of behaviors. It takes about 4-6 weeks to create a new neural pathway that sticks. Think about practicing a new instrument or learning a new song. Same with sports or exercise.
Integration is practicing new behaviors with intention and repetition. Recognizing and allowing that previous behaviors ended up with results that weren’t as expected or were harmful. Knowing that returning to the behavior will change the mind. The action being more important than intention or inspiration maybe.
Definitely, Ray has been one talking about this. I don't recall the site, but I read an article about anima integration and it was saying similar things to what Ray is saying. But the difference was that the article put AGP (they didn't say AGP per say and more like crossdressing) in the light of a 'phase' that AGP men have to get through.
I believe they did mention integration too, as in finding ways to be that don't call for crossdressing. And they went on to mentioned that some men get 'stuck' in that crossdressing 'phase'.
Where as, I see Ray's explanation of integration with AGP making way more sense.
The article was a Jugian type of psychology article about crossdressing and I will post it once I find it.
Great post Ray.
Yes, I would be interested in that Jungian essay. I love Jungian psychology and think his concept of integration of anima and individuation and Robert Moore’s theory of the mature masculine archetypes is very valuable to helping AGPs.
Advice about integration is a long-standing thing among heterosexual male crossdressers. Tri-ESS (the Society for the Second Self) includes integration as part of its philosophy:
"The Tri-Ess philosophy can be expressed in the acronym FIBER:
F - Full personality expression in both its masculine and its feminine aspects. We do not wish to destroy our masculinity, but to soften its harsher aspects, and be all we can be.
I - Integration of masculinity and femininity to create a happier whole person.
B - Balance between masculinity and femininity.
E - Education of crossdressers and their families to foster self-acceptance; education of society to promote acceptance of crossdressing people.
R - Relationship-building in the context of crossdressing."
Thanks Phil. I had never heard of FIBER but I think that’s an admirable and healthy (and very Jungian) philosophy.
Good luck with E now that crossdressing is a source of rights claims. As an older woman, I've seen people's toleration for it decline, not increase. Because crossdressing is now confused with transition legally many are now more like to be hostile.
Is it also possible that there is a kind of, since it is not forbidden than I don’t want it, scenario going on in your new relationship. But never the less a very good post