Have you signed up yet for RCIA/OCIA? That is the formal process by which adult converts such as yourself join the Catholic Church. You can talk to a local Catholic parish about the process.
Also, Ray, are you familiar with Eden Invitation? It is for members of the LGBTQ community who are committed to following the Catholic Church’s teachings and they come together in virtual and in-person small groups and they have retreats and stuff like that. It is fully in line with Catholic teaching and has the full support and blessing of Archbishop Bernard Hebda of the Archdiocese of Saint Paul and Minneapolis, which is the Archdiocese I live in. I’m not sure whether having AGP experiences falls under the umbrella of Eden Invitation, but I would definitely recommend looking into them. I know some of the people involved in this apostolate and they do great work https://www.edeninvitation.com/
I also highly recommend Bishop Robert Barron and his Word on Fire apostolate. Bishop Barron has some great videos on his YouTube channel and Word on Fire has some great books that they have published, as well as an excellent Word on Fire Institute of classes of various sorts.
Bishop Barron has a real gift for explaining and talking about Catholicism to younger people, especially younger men, like us without dumbing down anything, and his Sunday homilies are amazing!
Again, welcome home, brother! I look forward to getting to know you and becoming friends with you. And if you need anything, feel free to reach out. We’re one big family here in the Catholic Church, which means you’re my brother and I’ll support you in any way I can.
I’m a cradle Catholic, and I believe everything the Catholic Church teaches is true and that she is who she says she is, and I do my best to live the teachings of the Church.
I did contact a local priest about RCIA and I am planning on joining when it starts up again in September. I am very excited to start the official process!
I had not heard of Eden Invitation. I will definitely check it out, thank you 🙏
And yes, I am a big fan of Bishop Barron and have been enjoying his wonderful sermons on YouTube and Tik Tok. He is truly a gifted teacher.
I’m excited for you, brother! And know you have a friend and a spiritual brother in me. Feel free to direct message me on here anytime if you have prayer requests you’d like me to pray for or anything. Happy to support you in any way I can.
Thank you for this very moving reflection! I will be saving it to be able to share with others in similar boats. And welcome home!! I came into the Church two years ago and it was the best decision I ever made.
One small addendum is that the purpose of sex on the Catholic paradigm is not SOLELY procreative but ALSO unitive. Part of the current pushback against IVF is that where contraception tries to keep only the unitive aspect, IVF tries to separate out the procreative aspect, which is also disordered.
Thank you again for sharing and looking forward to seeing more of your writing!
First, welcome home, brother! Michael B put me onto this, and it’s clear you’re discerning and trying to take the right steps.
Going to RCIA in September is an excellent idea. Now—what will you do in the meantime?
Here’s the reality:
You’re still in the danger zone, and if you don’t set a hard framework for yourself, you’re at great risk of slipping.
You’re clearly a thinker. That’s good—but right now, you can’t afford to think.
It’ll trap you in a loop. You need reps.
You already know the truth—now prove it to yourself with discipline.
I suggest the following:
1. Daily Mass – Non-Negotiable
Make it to as many Masses as possible. If you can’t get there in person, watch EWTN’s daily Mass—but don’t rely on that as a crutch. Your goal is to be physically present.
2. Adoration
Spend time in front of the Blessed Sacrament. It forces quiet, humility, and submission. That’s exactly what you need right now.
3. Spiritual Direction
Even though RCIA starts in September, use this time to connect with a priest or deacon. Start that relationship now. You need accountability.
4. The Rosary – Every. Single. Day.
No exceptions. This has to be part of your daily routine.
5. Male Accountability
You can’t do this alone. Get in with strong Catholic men—both online and in person. You need brothers who will check in on you, challenge you, and make sure you’re staying locked in.
Okay, so your battle plan.
You have a binge/purge tendency and an intellectual habit of hopping from ideology to ideology. This isn’t inherently bad—it just means you need hard structure and real discipline. I know how this goes from experience
The key thing to understand: This isn’t just another phase. You’re stepping into a war.
Replace any problematic behaviors with discipline and suffering:
Fasting – Sharpen your will.
Prayer – Lock in spiritual discipline.
Physical Training – Strength and clarity go hand in hand.
Rejecting Comforts – Cut the dopamine addiction.
Donating Your Time & Talent – Stewardship beats self-obsession.
Lent is the perfect time to double down on all of this. I’m dropping a structured framework on it this week that might be valuable to you.
Your physical and spiritual discipline will be inseparable.
If you commit to this, you will succeed—with God’s grace.
Right now, your goal isn’t just to “become Catholic.” It’s to be formed into a man who can lead, build, and steward.
Your testimony puts you in a unique position to do something meaningful. That’s a gift. And now’s the time to act on it.
Welcome home, again!
Now, fight like your soul depends on it—because it does.
Thank you brother 🙏 Your guidance is valuable and your insight that I am still at risk is astute. Since I began my discernment, I have been attending daily Mass and praying the Rosary daily. It is my intention, to the best of my abilities, to continue in these spiritual disciplines. The rest of your advice is sound, and I will do my best to follow it. Thank you and God Bless 🙏
Ultimately, please know, dude I am PROUD OF YOU. Mother Angelica said it best, this is not for wimps. You’re choosing hard and narrow. And for that you will have my support and my prayers.
Great advice from Emmanuel, and I especially want to reinforce and add to what Emmanuel says about male friendship and brotherhood. You are going to need solid Catholic male friends in your life who will have your back, especially when things get rough, and things eventually will get rough. You need to find your band of brothers.
Do you have any male Catholic friends in the area? If not, I’ll pray that God sends some intro your life, and maybe the priest at your local parish know some good Catholic guys around your age whom he could introduce you to.
I’ll be praying daily for you and I’m willing to support you in any way I can (you and me are about the same age, I’m 38), but in-person, offline friendship and fellowship with male Catholic friends is super important!
Welcome home! One of the great graces of the Catholic Church is the sacraments that strengthen us to do the impossible. God doesn’t leave us as orphans to struggle alone, instead he gives us the sacraments and walks alongside us. To deal with unchastity in my own life I began going to confession every week. Slowly the grace built and temptation retreated to a manageable level. I’m still tempted at times and I still struggle, but I struggle as a free man. I’m no longer a slave ruled by my sin instead I’m just a broken man who makes mistakes.
From my own non-practicing but congenitally Catholic perspective, I see a heavy conceptual overlap between the LGBT and the type of person who used to become a priest/monk/nun in more religiously conservative societies, in that they both involve a rejection of living “cisheteronormativitely.” In Catholicism, becoming a priest meant setting aside the thought of marrying a woman and having children - well, what type of man is that going to disproportionately appeal to? I can think of at least two. 😉
Congratulations! As a convert I can say it will be the best decision of your life. Just one clarification if I may; God doesn't create us as gay or trans. We are made in His image and our disorders manifest as a result of trauma, either psychological or physical. Satan is the father of lies and is evil is always lurking, ready to deceive and destroy. Luckily we have the tools of our faith to battle his lies but we are not "born that way" (to quote a popular song). God bless you! 🙏💕
I do think, however, there is good evidence that sexual orientation is innate and hardwired and cannot be changed. Which is not to say there's a "gay gene" but Ray Blanchard's work on the fraternal birth order effect shows that it's a function of something that happens while in the womb if you have too many older brothers. That's just what I know from a scientific perspective, but I don't know the official Catholic teaching on the subject matter. I definitely want to learn though!
There isn’t one. And it doesn’t matter from a Catholic teaching perspective what the cause of same-sex attraction is. We all have desires to do things that are sinful. Those desires are disordered but having them isn’t a sin. Acting on those desires, however, is a sin.
Getting drunk is a temptation a lot of people have, and it’s a grave matter sin just like sodomy is. Being tempted to get drunk isn’t a sin, but getting drunk is a grave matter sin.
You’re very welcome, brother. I hope we get to meet properly someday, Ray. If you ever find yourself visiting the Twin Cities area up here in Minnesota, feel free to message me and we could grab coffee or lunch if you like.
I’m grateful we’re friends and brothers in Christ now, and I’ll always have your back, Ray. I’ve been quietly following your YouTube channel for quite a while now, and praying for you. 🙂
While remaining self-aware about the silliness of leaving a comment like this, I would caution you that in fact you are "leaving one cult to join another."
And I have gone through an experience similar to yours. I'm a detransitioner and- while going through the disorienting experience of realizing I was wrong about something as seemingly obvious as whether I am a man or woman or indeed whether it would be a good idea to mutilate my genitals just so I could crossdress more convincingly- I was for a period of time attracted to Catholicism.
Now I have flirted a little bit with almost every worldview under the sun, but a few things stood out about Catholicism. One is charming Catholic YouTubers like Trent Horn or Matt Fradd. For the terminally online youth, this definitely is a big appeal. The other is Catholicism's unique concoction of countercultural aesthetics and controversial philosophical views. It's fun to entertain various little debates between natural law theorists or thomists when it has the vibes of discovering secret ancient profound truths (for an outsider to Catholicism). The more challenging the demands for celibacy or the more suspension of disbelief one requires to embrace more and more of the ever expansive Catholic legendarium of saintly miracles or Marian apparitions or accounts of demonic exorcisms the more masculine and sopiscated I felt.
But the trouble is... many many lines of evidence pretty clearly show that some official Catholic teachings are false. A few you might look into:
-The consensus of independent historians is that icon veneration was not the custom of the apostles.
-The bodily assumption of Mary is a later legend not an authentic historical account.
-The things Catholics are supposed to believe about Divine Simplicity are nonsensical.
-The things Catholics are supposed to believe about hell are very morally implausible.
Also what has become mainstream Christian orthodoxy includes many false things:
-There are logical problems with the Trinity.
-The Bible makes way more sense as a diverse collection of mythology, poetry and ancient history and biography as error prone as any other human text and not as an infallible rule of faith and morals.
-If Jesus had really told his disciples about his predicted death and resurrection and had previously raised other people from the dead and there were many ominous supernatural signs during his crucifixion. The disciples immediately doubting Jesus's resurrection makes no sense. The story does not add up
As someone who has believed many strange things, I'm not one to judge, but isn't it all a little suspicious?
I'm neither a Christian nor a theist, so I can't say "welcome home" as so many of your commentators are doing; I think you are incorrect, more as a matter of accuracy about the world than morally, but I am glad you are finding some peace and happiness in what you are doing. If it is the best way forward for you, then I hope you stick to it.
Nevertheless... and I hope this is not unkind... your story, and some of the reactions of your other commentators, led me to think of the classic Greg Egan story "Unstable Orbits in the Space of Lies". It's SF, about a world that suffered a bizarre apocalypse (in the then-future of 2018). You can find it in his (generally very good) collection Axiomatic, but a quick google turned up an online copy, so I leave it here. Just something to read and reflect on, that's all.
"…he bade the saint farewell and said: 'What could I have to give you? But let me go quickly lest I take something from you!' And thus they separated, the old one and the man, laughing as two boys laugh." — Nietzsche, Zarathustra
Ray, reading your post again, in the last paragraph where you talk about love, that reminded me of my favorite papal encyclical of all time, Pope Benedict XVI’s first encycIical, Deus caritas est “God is love”, which you can read here:
I don’t know if you have decided yet what you’ll be doing this year for Lent, but I highly recommend reading that encyclical. Pope Benedict XVI’s 3 book series on Jesus of Nazareth is also an excellent read!
Thank you for the recommendation! I will definitely read it! I feel like I have a lifetime of reading and study to do now that I am exploring the wonderful riches of the Catholic tradition :)
Yep! I particularly enjoy reading biographies of the lives of the saints. You’ll definitely find at least a few who you’ll feel a sort of special connection with, at least that’s been the case with me and the other Catholics I know. My favorite is Saint Francis of Assisi, and he’s the saint I chose as my Confirmation patron saint! I can’t wait to hear which saint you choose as your Confirmation patron saint!
Please be assured of my support of and prayers for you, Ray, and feel free to reach out to me anytime if I can be of assistance in any way. I’m so happy you came home! 🙂
Hi Ray. I’ve been watching your YouTube for quite awhile, primarily as a concerned father with a child who briefly seemed to be being drawn into an ROGD ideology via online influences. I’m also an Episcopalian, and though I disagree with your assessment of our church, I am super happy you have found your home in Christ.
Sure, and I don’t dispute there are some issues, but as a lifelong resident of south Louisiana I can assure you there are plenty of lax Roman Catholics too. Fwiw I too am a recovered addict, and I am super aware of our need to accept Christs loving mercy, for we all fall short of Gods glory. I have a deep respect for the RCC and brethren within, and I yearn for the day when we can all be one Church again as Christ commands.
What a small world! I was just visiting friends in Southern Louisiana in late January! I ended up having to extend my stay by 3 days due to the huge snowstorm that hit. I must have brought the winter with me from Minnesota!
Beautiful area, tied with Pittsburgh, PA for my favorite place in the USA outside of Minnesota!
It was the most sneaux we’ve had in over a century! For us here it was magical and fun, even the adults, as we don’t get to see it enough to have grown weary of it.
Interesting perspective, thanks for sharing. I do have one question.
You mention being divorced (or in the process of becoming divorced), not wanting to have pre marital sex with your new girlfriend, and the Catholic Church being against remarriage after divorce. Wouldn't all of this imply that if you want to follow the Catholic Churchs teachings, you should not remarry and therefore never have sex again?
But it sounds like you would have sex if you were married, which sounds hypocritical to me. I'm not Catholic though so perhaps I've misunderstood.
It may mean that, though I think the odds are high that given the psychological disorder Ray describes, there may be grounds for declaring the first “marriage” null. In other words, where there is some impediment to a marriage discovered, the Church declares that there was never a marriage in the first place. So if Ray’s partner, for example, was (perhaps unintentionally) deceived into thinking of Ray’s basic identity as including identification as a woman, and that was a major reason she married him, that could make her unable to properly consent to the marriage, since that is (and always was) false.
It will be up to his bishop, though—it may well turn out that he is not free to marry as long as she lives. Unlikely, given his story, but still possible.
Before I transitioned, I was actually married a first time as a man and a woman. I was very sincere in my vows in that first marriage. In my second marriage, we were explicitly polyamorous so I don’t think that’d be seen as valid. But with my first marriage, there is a good chance the Church would not find sufficient grounds for annulment, though my only question in that regard was my first wife was having affairs during my engagement and pretty much immediately after my marriage as well, so I don’t know if she truly intended life long fidelity as cheating was in her nature, and something she romanticized, justified, and reveled in. I am planning to talk to a priest about it eventually but such things are so far from my mind right now. I am joyful to be single and free to focus my life on spiritual things.
Your assessment seems right to me; I am deeply encouraged by your zeal and lucidity about what’s demanded and why it’s worth everything. I’ll be keeping you in prayer today!
Have you signed up yet for RCIA/OCIA? That is the formal process by which adult converts such as yourself join the Catholic Church. You can talk to a local Catholic parish about the process.
Also, Ray, are you familiar with Eden Invitation? It is for members of the LGBTQ community who are committed to following the Catholic Church’s teachings and they come together in virtual and in-person small groups and they have retreats and stuff like that. It is fully in line with Catholic teaching and has the full support and blessing of Archbishop Bernard Hebda of the Archdiocese of Saint Paul and Minneapolis, which is the Archdiocese I live in. I’m not sure whether having AGP experiences falls under the umbrella of Eden Invitation, but I would definitely recommend looking into them. I know some of the people involved in this apostolate and they do great work https://www.edeninvitation.com/
I also highly recommend Bishop Robert Barron and his Word on Fire apostolate. Bishop Barron has some great videos on his YouTube channel and Word on Fire has some great books that they have published, as well as an excellent Word on Fire Institute of classes of various sorts.
Bishop Barron has a real gift for explaining and talking about Catholicism to younger people, especially younger men, like us without dumbing down anything, and his Sunday homilies are amazing!
Bishop Barron’s YouTube channel: https://m.youtube.com/@BishopBarron
Word on Fire!
https://www.wordonfire.org/
Again, welcome home, brother! I look forward to getting to know you and becoming friends with you. And if you need anything, feel free to reach out. We’re one big family here in the Catholic Church, which means you’re my brother and I’ll support you in any way I can.
I’m a cradle Catholic, and I believe everything the Catholic Church teaches is true and that she is who she says she is, and I do my best to live the teachings of the Church.
I did contact a local priest about RCIA and I am planning on joining when it starts up again in September. I am very excited to start the official process!
I had not heard of Eden Invitation. I will definitely check it out, thank you 🙏
And yes, I am a big fan of Bishop Barron and have been enjoying his wonderful sermons on YouTube and Tik Tok. He is truly a gifted teacher.
Awesome! 🙂
I’m excited for you, brother! And know you have a friend and a spiritual brother in me. Feel free to direct message me on here anytime if you have prayer requests you’d like me to pray for or anything. Happy to support you in any way I can.
Thank you for this very moving reflection! I will be saving it to be able to share with others in similar boats. And welcome home!! I came into the Church two years ago and it was the best decision I ever made.
One small addendum is that the purpose of sex on the Catholic paradigm is not SOLELY procreative but ALSO unitive. Part of the current pushback against IVF is that where contraception tries to keep only the unitive aspect, IVF tries to separate out the procreative aspect, which is also disordered.
Thank you again for sharing and looking forward to seeing more of your writing!
Edit: fixed a typo
Appreciate the nuanced clarification 🙏
First, welcome home, brother! Michael B put me onto this, and it’s clear you’re discerning and trying to take the right steps.
Going to RCIA in September is an excellent idea. Now—what will you do in the meantime?
Here’s the reality:
You’re still in the danger zone, and if you don’t set a hard framework for yourself, you’re at great risk of slipping.
You’re clearly a thinker. That’s good—but right now, you can’t afford to think.
It’ll trap you in a loop. You need reps.
You already know the truth—now prove it to yourself with discipline.
I suggest the following:
1. Daily Mass – Non-Negotiable
Make it to as many Masses as possible. If you can’t get there in person, watch EWTN’s daily Mass—but don’t rely on that as a crutch. Your goal is to be physically present.
2. Adoration
Spend time in front of the Blessed Sacrament. It forces quiet, humility, and submission. That’s exactly what you need right now.
3. Spiritual Direction
Even though RCIA starts in September, use this time to connect with a priest or deacon. Start that relationship now. You need accountability.
4. The Rosary – Every. Single. Day.
No exceptions. This has to be part of your daily routine.
5. Male Accountability
You can’t do this alone. Get in with strong Catholic men—both online and in person. You need brothers who will check in on you, challenge you, and make sure you’re staying locked in.
Okay, so your battle plan.
You have a binge/purge tendency and an intellectual habit of hopping from ideology to ideology. This isn’t inherently bad—it just means you need hard structure and real discipline. I know how this goes from experience
The key thing to understand: This isn’t just another phase. You’re stepping into a war.
Replace any problematic behaviors with discipline and suffering:
Fasting – Sharpen your will.
Prayer – Lock in spiritual discipline.
Physical Training – Strength and clarity go hand in hand.
Rejecting Comforts – Cut the dopamine addiction.
Donating Your Time & Talent – Stewardship beats self-obsession.
Lent is the perfect time to double down on all of this. I’m dropping a structured framework on it this week that might be valuable to you.
Your physical and spiritual discipline will be inseparable.
If you commit to this, you will succeed—with God’s grace.
Right now, your goal isn’t just to “become Catholic.” It’s to be formed into a man who can lead, build, and steward.
Your testimony puts you in a unique position to do something meaningful. That’s a gift. And now’s the time to act on it.
Welcome home, again!
Now, fight like your soul depends on it—because it does.
Thank you brother 🙏 Your guidance is valuable and your insight that I am still at risk is astute. Since I began my discernment, I have been attending daily Mass and praying the Rosary daily. It is my intention, to the best of my abilities, to continue in these spiritual disciplines. The rest of your advice is sound, and I will do my best to follow it. Thank you and God Bless 🙏
I’m glad you’re taking the steps.
Ultimately, please know, dude I am PROUD OF YOU. Mother Angelica said it best, this is not for wimps. You’re choosing hard and narrow. And for that you will have my support and my prayers.
Great advice from Emmanuel, and I especially want to reinforce and add to what Emmanuel says about male friendship and brotherhood. You are going to need solid Catholic male friends in your life who will have your back, especially when things get rough, and things eventually will get rough. You need to find your band of brothers.
Do you have any male Catholic friends in the area? If not, I’ll pray that God sends some intro your life, and maybe the priest at your local parish know some good Catholic guys around your age whom he could introduce you to.
I’ll be praying daily for you and I’m willing to support you in any way I can (you and me are about the same age, I’m 38), but in-person, offline friendship and fellowship with male Catholic friends is super important!
Welcome home. ❤️
Welcome home! One of the great graces of the Catholic Church is the sacraments that strengthen us to do the impossible. God doesn’t leave us as orphans to struggle alone, instead he gives us the sacraments and walks alongside us. To deal with unchastity in my own life I began going to confession every week. Slowly the grace built and temptation retreated to a manageable level. I’m still tempted at times and I still struggle, but I struggle as a free man. I’m no longer a slave ruled by my sin instead I’m just a broken man who makes mistakes.
>>>One of the great graces of the Catholic Church is the sacraments that strengthen us to do the impossible.
Amen🙏
I’m happy for you, and wish you well.
From my own non-practicing but congenitally Catholic perspective, I see a heavy conceptual overlap between the LGBT and the type of person who used to become a priest/monk/nun in more religiously conservative societies, in that they both involve a rejection of living “cisheteronormativitely.” In Catholicism, becoming a priest meant setting aside the thought of marrying a woman and having children - well, what type of man is that going to disproportionately appeal to? I can think of at least two. 😉
Congratulations! As a convert I can say it will be the best decision of your life. Just one clarification if I may; God doesn't create us as gay or trans. We are made in His image and our disorders manifest as a result of trauma, either psychological or physical. Satan is the father of lies and is evil is always lurking, ready to deceive and destroy. Luckily we have the tools of our faith to battle his lies but we are not "born that way" (to quote a popular song). God bless you! 🙏💕
I do think, however, there is good evidence that sexual orientation is innate and hardwired and cannot be changed. Which is not to say there's a "gay gene" but Ray Blanchard's work on the fraternal birth order effect shows that it's a function of something that happens while in the womb if you have too many older brothers. That's just what I know from a scientific perspective, but I don't know the official Catholic teaching on the subject matter. I definitely want to learn though!
There isn’t one. And it doesn’t matter from a Catholic teaching perspective what the cause of same-sex attraction is. We all have desires to do things that are sinful. Those desires are disordered but having them isn’t a sin. Acting on those desires, however, is a sin.
Getting drunk is a temptation a lot of people have, and it’s a grave matter sin just like sodomy is. Being tempted to get drunk isn’t a sin, but getting drunk is a grave matter sin.
Thank you brother 🙏wise words ❤️
You’re very welcome, brother. I hope we get to meet properly someday, Ray. If you ever find yourself visiting the Twin Cities area up here in Minnesota, feel free to message me and we could grab coffee or lunch if you like.
I’m grateful we’re friends and brothers in Christ now, and I’ll always have your back, Ray. I’ve been quietly following your YouTube channel for quite a while now, and praying for you. 🙂
While remaining self-aware about the silliness of leaving a comment like this, I would caution you that in fact you are "leaving one cult to join another."
And I have gone through an experience similar to yours. I'm a detransitioner and- while going through the disorienting experience of realizing I was wrong about something as seemingly obvious as whether I am a man or woman or indeed whether it would be a good idea to mutilate my genitals just so I could crossdress more convincingly- I was for a period of time attracted to Catholicism.
Now I have flirted a little bit with almost every worldview under the sun, but a few things stood out about Catholicism. One is charming Catholic YouTubers like Trent Horn or Matt Fradd. For the terminally online youth, this definitely is a big appeal. The other is Catholicism's unique concoction of countercultural aesthetics and controversial philosophical views. It's fun to entertain various little debates between natural law theorists or thomists when it has the vibes of discovering secret ancient profound truths (for an outsider to Catholicism). The more challenging the demands for celibacy or the more suspension of disbelief one requires to embrace more and more of the ever expansive Catholic legendarium of saintly miracles or Marian apparitions or accounts of demonic exorcisms the more masculine and sopiscated I felt.
But the trouble is... many many lines of evidence pretty clearly show that some official Catholic teachings are false. A few you might look into:
-The consensus of independent historians is that icon veneration was not the custom of the apostles.
-The bodily assumption of Mary is a later legend not an authentic historical account.
-The things Catholics are supposed to believe about Divine Simplicity are nonsensical.
-The things Catholics are supposed to believe about hell are very morally implausible.
Also what has become mainstream Christian orthodoxy includes many false things:
-There are logical problems with the Trinity.
-The Bible makes way more sense as a diverse collection of mythology, poetry and ancient history and biography as error prone as any other human text and not as an infallible rule of faith and morals.
-If Jesus had really told his disciples about his predicted death and resurrection and had previously raised other people from the dead and there were many ominous supernatural signs during his crucifixion. The disciples immediately doubting Jesus's resurrection makes no sense. The story does not add up
As someone who has believed many strange things, I'm not one to judge, but isn't it all a little suspicious?
I can tell, like me, you are a seeker after the truth. And I respect that. I wish you well on your journey 🙏❤️
Fair enough. I like your work man. ❤️
I'm neither a Christian nor a theist, so I can't say "welcome home" as so many of your commentators are doing; I think you are incorrect, more as a matter of accuracy about the world than morally, but I am glad you are finding some peace and happiness in what you are doing. If it is the best way forward for you, then I hope you stick to it.
Nevertheless... and I hope this is not unkind... your story, and some of the reactions of your other commentators, led me to think of the classic Greg Egan story "Unstable Orbits in the Space of Lies". It's SF, about a world that suffered a bizarre apocalypse (in the then-future of 2018). You can find it in his (generally very good) collection Axiomatic, but a quick google turned up an online copy, so I leave it here. Just something to read and reflect on, that's all.
https://sseh.uchicago.edu/doc/Greg_Egan_Unstable_Orbits_In_The_Space_Of_Lies_1992.pdf
"…he bade the saint farewell and said: 'What could I have to give you? But let me go quickly lest I take something from you!' And thus they separated, the old one and the man, laughing as two boys laugh." — Nietzsche, Zarathustra
Ray, reading your post again, in the last paragraph where you talk about love, that reminded me of my favorite papal encyclical of all time, Pope Benedict XVI’s first encycIical, Deus caritas est “God is love”, which you can read here:
https://www.vatican.va/content/benedict-xvi/en/encyclicals/documents/hf_ben-xvi_enc_20051225_deus-caritas-est.html
I don’t know if you have decided yet what you’ll be doing this year for Lent, but I highly recommend reading that encyclical. Pope Benedict XVI’s 3 book series on Jesus of Nazareth is also an excellent read!
Thank you for the recommendation! I will definitely read it! I feel like I have a lifetime of reading and study to do now that I am exploring the wonderful riches of the Catholic tradition :)
Yep! I particularly enjoy reading biographies of the lives of the saints. You’ll definitely find at least a few who you’ll feel a sort of special connection with, at least that’s been the case with me and the other Catholics I know. My favorite is Saint Francis of Assisi, and he’s the saint I chose as my Confirmation patron saint! I can’t wait to hear which saint you choose as your Confirmation patron saint!
Please be assured of my support of and prayers for you, Ray, and feel free to reach out to me anytime if I can be of assistance in any way. I’m so happy you came home! 🙂
I imagine it must have been difficult to share this. I'm glad you're finding comfort with your body and religion.
Hi Ray. I’ve been watching your YouTube for quite awhile, primarily as a concerned father with a child who briefly seemed to be being drawn into an ROGD ideology via online influences. I’m also an Episcopalian, and though I disagree with your assessment of our church, I am super happy you have found your home in Christ.
Thank you 🙏 And perhaps I was too harsh on the Episcopal Church but it was definitely my experience in the local parish I attended.
Sure, and I don’t dispute there are some issues, but as a lifelong resident of south Louisiana I can assure you there are plenty of lax Roman Catholics too. Fwiw I too am a recovered addict, and I am super aware of our need to accept Christs loving mercy, for we all fall short of Gods glory. I have a deep respect for the RCC and brethren within, and I yearn for the day when we can all be one Church again as Christ commands.
What a small world! I was just visiting friends in Southern Louisiana in late January! I ended up having to extend my stay by 3 days due to the huge snowstorm that hit. I must have brought the winter with me from Minnesota!
Beautiful area, tied with Pittsburgh, PA for my favorite place in the USA outside of Minnesota!
It was the most sneaux we’ve had in over a century! For us here it was magical and fun, even the adults, as we don’t get to see it enough to have grown weary of it.
My friends and I had a snowball fight in their front yard! 🙂
Welcome home, brother!
Interesting perspective, thanks for sharing. I do have one question.
You mention being divorced (or in the process of becoming divorced), not wanting to have pre marital sex with your new girlfriend, and the Catholic Church being against remarriage after divorce. Wouldn't all of this imply that if you want to follow the Catholic Churchs teachings, you should not remarry and therefore never have sex again?
But it sounds like you would have sex if you were married, which sounds hypocritical to me. I'm not Catholic though so perhaps I've misunderstood.
It may mean that, though I think the odds are high that given the psychological disorder Ray describes, there may be grounds for declaring the first “marriage” null. In other words, where there is some impediment to a marriage discovered, the Church declares that there was never a marriage in the first place. So if Ray’s partner, for example, was (perhaps unintentionally) deceived into thinking of Ray’s basic identity as including identification as a woman, and that was a major reason she married him, that could make her unable to properly consent to the marriage, since that is (and always was) false.
It will be up to his bishop, though—it may well turn out that he is not free to marry as long as she lives. Unlikely, given his story, but still possible.
Before I transitioned, I was actually married a first time as a man and a woman. I was very sincere in my vows in that first marriage. In my second marriage, we were explicitly polyamorous so I don’t think that’d be seen as valid. But with my first marriage, there is a good chance the Church would not find sufficient grounds for annulment, though my only question in that regard was my first wife was having affairs during my engagement and pretty much immediately after my marriage as well, so I don’t know if she truly intended life long fidelity as cheating was in her nature, and something she romanticized, justified, and reveled in. I am planning to talk to a priest about it eventually but such things are so far from my mind right now. I am joyful to be single and free to focus my life on spiritual things.
Your assessment seems right to me; I am deeply encouraged by your zeal and lucidity about what’s demanded and why it’s worth everything. I’ll be keeping you in prayer today!