Yesterday, I made a post on Twitter that stirred up a debate:
Aaron Terrell replied to my tweet, saying:
Aaron Terrel is a trans-identified female well-known in gender critical and “amateur sexology” circles who used to run the Gender Dysphoria Alliance podcast with Aaron Kimberly and now runs The Navel Gays podcast with Tali Botz. I’ve been on podcasts with him in the past, and I used to more or less completely agree with his approach to managing autogynephilia, the paraphilia wherein men are aroused at the thought or image of themselves as women, which drives gender dysphoria, fetishism, hatred of natural masculinity, and drives men down the transition pathway.
Terrell is part of the “AGP self-awareness” movement, drawing on the work of Phil Illy, which pushes for the idea that autogynephilia is an atypical sexuality just like homosexuality and, therefore, ought to be tolerated because the ethics of sexual liberalism tolerates homosexuality, which places it normatively on par with “normal” heterosexuality. They believe that just like homosexuality had a civil rights movement whereby it became tolerated under liberal principles, so too AGP ought to be tolerated under liberal principles because it’s “mostly harmless.”
Aaron and others in this space believe that as long as you’re not invading women’s spaces, acting in a degenerate way in public, or appropriating female identity, then indulging in autogynephilia through crossdressing or radical medical interventions is perfectly okay. Their ethic is secular, liberal, and based on the glorification of consent as the end-all-be-all of normativity.
They argue that the only reason autogynephilia is stigmatized while homosexuality is accepted is because of societal attitudes, which are constantly updating as society morally evolves in a progressive direction. In their view, so long as sexual behavior involves consent among all parties then anything goes. They agree with Dr. Ray Blanchard when he said a paraphilia is simply an atypical sexuality that is socially stigmatized (on irrational grounds.) So, therefore, Terrell would say the negative stigma against autogynephilia ought to be resolved by reforming societal standards so that we accept men indulging in their paraphilias as normal and healthy, or at least, morally neutral.
Why I No Longer Agree With That View
I used to be in that self-aware autogynephilia camp after I detransitioned and became aware of what autogynephilia really was. I tried to manage my own AGP under this framework with what is called “integration,” where you attempt to integrate AGP indulgence into your life as a man in a “moderate way,” or what Terrell called a “middle ground.” But that was before my religious conversion to Catholicism.
I now believe autogynephilia is a disordered, pathological sexuality. Acting on it is never healthy. Catholic sexual ethics teaches that some acts are intrinsically immoral—wrong in themselves—because they contradict the natural law, the design God embedded in our bodies from his Eternal Blueprint of Creation.
What Is Sex For?
Just like the heart is made to pump blood and the lungs to breathe air, our sexual organs have a purpose: unitive bonding and openness to procreation.
And it’s not just about making babies—it’s about raising those children in a loving, committed family. All the research shows children flourish best in stable households with both a mother and father. That’s why Catholic ethics emphasizes that sex should be both unitive and procreative, taking place within the sacrament of marriage between a man and a woman in a committed monogamous relationship because that’s what’s best for raising children.
Outside of this context, sexual acts become disordered—no matter how consensual, and even if you consent to yourself in the case of masturbation.
The Problem with Consent as the Highest Good
The liberal ethic says anything goes, as long as there’s consent. You can cross-dress, masturbate to fantasies, take hormones, undergo radical surgeries—as long as it’s your choice, it’s all morally permissible. Freedom is the highest good.
But Catholic ethics says consent doesn’t make an intrinsically immoral act moral. You can’t consent to mutilate yourself and call it good. You can’t engage in disordered sexuality, even moderately, and expect to be at peace. Some actions are always wrong to act on no matter the intention or possible good consequences resulting from it. Catholic ethics completely rejects the consequentialist logic of ends justifying evil means. Some things are just intrinsically wrong, no matter the context.
The Binge-Purge Cycle of Autogynephilia
Many autogynephilic men go through what’s called a binge-purge cycle. They repress their urges for a while, but the desires return stronger. They binge, fall into guilt and shame, and then try to repress again—only to repeat the cycle.
Secular thinkers like Aaron Terrell argue that the solution is to moderate—to indulge the paraphilia in a way that doesn’t produce shame. But that’s a fallacy. From a Catholic view, you cannot moderately commit an intrinsically disordered act and expect to be spiritually or psychologically whole.
Why Repression Fails Without God
Nevertheless, we must address why so many men fail when trying to repress their autogynephilia. It’s because they’re trying to do it through sheer willpower—secular therapy, white-knuckling it, or trying to follow liberal ethics.
But Catholicism teaches that you can’t do it alone. You need grace from God through the sacraments. Baptism, confession, the Eucharist—these aren’t just rituals. They are means by which God gives you sanctifying grace to live a holy life.
You must repent and ask for forgiveness, and that grace can empower you to resist temptation and grow in virtue. Without that framework—without God—you will fail.
The Spiritual Battle of Sexuality
This is why autogynephilia isn’t just a psychological problem. It’s a spiritual problem. Just like Alcoholics Anonymous calls on a higher power to overcome addiction, those struggling with sexual disorders need to do the same.
It’s not easy. Christ calls us to be perfect, to resist mortal sin. But it is possible with God's help. If you fail, you need genuine contrition, true repentance, and a desire to do better—not rationalizations.
Why Liberal Ethics Leads to Confusion and Harm
As long as you believe this is just an atypical sexuality, as long as you buy into the cult of consent, as long as you think it’s “mostly harmless,” you will never truly confront the sin. You will tell yourself it’s okay. Then you’ll escalate. You’ll indulge more deeply in your fantasies. And then the next thing you know, you’re doing irreparable damage to your body or blowing up your marriage.
The whole framework of modern gender medicine is based on informed consent, which presupposes the liberal idea that as long as everyone consents to an action, it is moral. But Catholic ethics says some things are always wrong, no matter how much you want them, no matter how much pleasure they give you, no matter how much they appeal to your deepest desires, no matter how much they “make sense.”
Autogynephilia is one of those things. It is a paraphilia, a disordered desire that can never lead to true fulfillment or peace. Repentance is the only way. Not moderation. Not rationalization. Repentance. You must see that indulgence is intrinsically wrong and truly repent. Otherwise, yes, repression will be impossible. And if you do give in to temptation, that’s what the sacrament of confession is for. But it requires a genuine act of contrition. You have to see yourself as actually needing forgiveness.
Conclusion
It pains me to say this, especially given my past friendships with Aaron Terrell and Phil Illy. I still respect their scientific understanding of the phenomenon. But their ethics are deeply flawed. They’re secular, atheistic, and relativistic—and that’s the problem.
Modern liberalism elevates the human will above God’s will. It turns consent into the highest good and denies that there is any objective moral order. This leads to chaos—personal, cultural, and spiritual.
We must return to the truth, the natural law, and God’s design for our bodies and souls.
Amen
We all must bear the cross given to us
I want to preface: I'm in the same boat as you, overcoming a sexual disorder. It's objectively grave-matter, the one I got. Also objectively speaking, I can see this cold turkey as being the death of me, no joke. Cutting off this hand which offends has not stopped bleeding.
It's a personal choice I've made. There's a story to it. Perhaps I've been imprudent & sinful about many other things - I probably was shortsighted, made errors in judgement, but hindsight is 20/20. So it's only a possibility for others, not necessary at all.
With that said, would you be to be a martyr should it come to it?