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Mark's avatar

Ray!!! I have a lot of love for you and your journey. Your life is fascinating. God loves you and doesn't want you to feel shame. I have been celebate for 11 years but I'm not closed off to having a male partner again, if God wants me to. I still believe he does and will provide and feel no shame over my natural inclination for homosexuality. I guess my point is that whatever path you choose, shame is never what God wants for you, even if you think you've done something shameful. He is unconditional love. ❤ you are loved unconditionally ❤

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Heather Walsh's avatar

I love the connection you feel with your confirmation saint's name. It does worry me a little that you've beaten your soul up to arrive at this extraordinary place in your life. You desperately need kindness. You were never a bad person. During the times of your life that you're not proud of you were captured by an ideology that made false promises and obfuscated reality. We all in fact have those times in life where deluding ourselves gives us a much needed break from reality and there are many creative ways to do that. I'm not suggesting all of our choices are good ones or bad ones but that we all engage in it as a coping mechanism. I believe man is fundamentally good and you've found your true self that was always there but was entangled in the intrusive pressure of this modern world. This time you have found a spiritual support structure that won't harm or torment you and is given to you freely and with love. It's yours to keep so you can live your best life.

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